Comparison syndrome… the way we compare ourselves to everyone around us. Do you do it? Are you guilty of it… and if so, why?

It’s something we do so easily; I do it. 
I’ve been guilty of it. 

I am guilty of it.. and it’s so easy to do in this day and age. We have social media and magazines and TV and everything around us that shows us how we’re meant to be – how we should be. 

We should be a perfect size. 
We should have perfect children. 
We should have a perfect life. 
We should have perfect diets.
Our business should be a major success. 

We are shown the people do it. Shown how they look and how they act and what they achieve, constantly being encouraged to compare ourselves to others. But heads up for the spoiler… THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION! This constant narrative we are conditioned to believe draws us into a rut of comparison syndrome as it’s known, and it’s an awful place to be. 

Recently I was re-listening to a great podcast from two writers I really enjoy the work of; Andy cope & Andy Whittaker and Paul McGee. I’ve read several of their books, including the Art of Being Brilliant (by the two Andys), which is a great book and Paul has fantastic book that I really love and I advocate and recommend to people called SUMO which stands for Shut Up and Move On – take a look at both books, they’re worth a read!

The concept of SUMO allows you time to recalibrate and wallow and all these things that you need do to get over something but then gives you the techniques to how to move on with your life. 

It gives you this idea that an event plus your reaction is what you get at the end of the day. They are good books and really worth a read. But I also loved a couple of phrases and a couple of quotes that Paul came out with and the first one is “other people’s grass may be greener, but it’s fertilised with bullshit”. How true is this? What we see – the things we compare ourselves to – are basically the selected highlights that we have been encouraged to look at and see as someone’s complete life and how wonderful it is.

This is not always the case. What’s going on social media is what people want us to see – it’s curated and we also do this ourselves. We put things on our timelines which are really happy pictures and share really great things. We don’t always share the real stuff that’s going on in life that might not be quite so good; we might not be very honest with people about it, but we’ve shown all the stuff we want people to see. But what we forget, this is what other people are doing as well.

They are just showing us the selected showreel if you like of their life and that is what we’re watching. So their grass isn’t greener. It really probably is fertilised with bullshit, or at least fertilised with something that’s selective and they are choosing what we see and that is then what we are comparing ourselves to. 

So the bottom line is stop comparing and start creating – that’s what we need to do. Create yourself, create everything you do, and you will come out of this rut that you might be in, find solutions and possibilities for everything and move on. 

This is what I really want to encourage people to start doing. I want people to start creating. Now that might be going for a walk that opens up the creative mind as we move and change our energy. It might be creating possibilities for your business. It might be creating new ways to get on in your family or to live. It might be creating a way to live more healthily, concentrating and focusing on your wellness rather than just dieting all the time. It might be creating art or writing, dance or music. It could be anything. There are so many ways to create. 

Can you try being more creative? Stop comparing yourself and start creating. That is really going to help you to move on and create your own happiness, and that is where we want to be – finding happiness to balance with everything difficult we have to deal with. 

It’s not about saying that everything is brilliant, that everything is happy, because that’s not real or honest. What we want to do is balance the hard and uncomfortable stuff we have to deal with – maybe the negative and bad stuff that’s going on in our lives – but find some happiness to balance that with. So, moral of the day, stop comparing and start creating.

Go and have a great day and create your own possibilities, positivity and happiness.

Much Love
Tabby x